Some guys are just plain immature

Why I'd said this? because its true,
Once they knew you like them,
they will straight away appear offline and wont talk to you ever again.
If any of you ever experience it, I know you know how it felt like,
Its as if somebody just stabbed you and that you can't take it much longer that your gonna DIE!

*thriller sound effect**

But that's life, and love hurts, (for sure)
And, if I ever tell any guys that I like them, take note..
When I say I like the, I'm not kidding,
but.. I wont be over react, so just chill cuz if you don't like me..
Just tell me and I'm not the type of person who chases guys around.

I can Forgive, but I can't Forget

It might be stupid if I say this,
I dreamed about you insulting and bullying me in front of your friends.
I know its just a dream, but it seemed so real,
and, I've forgotten all bout what you've said if you have somewhere with Atheera.

It only makes me feel worst everytime thinking bout it,
and I certainly can't forget what you have done..
it just hurt so much, that's what I think made me act so stupid in front of you.

I just can't barely look at your face,
you hadn't even said sorry to me yet,
even though I know I did mistakes too..
Well, lets just say, I scolded her too,
cuz she called me for the insulation you gave me.

I thought she told the secret I told her to you,
but turns out, it might have been someone close to you..
I write this to say that, I'm sorry, I truly really am,
to you and to her, and I hope they wont any problem from now on.

haha. Sedih again.

I totally agree with what Afiqah says,
Parents should trust us Teenagers,
my parents especially my mom is totally no trusting me at all,
I wish I could set her mind, I'm not a baby.

But then again, she confuses me,
I don't think I'm loved like the others,
well yea, I'm the oldest what do you expect?
of course the youngest gets more than the eldest.

Sometimes, she seemed really care about me,
but sometimes all the attention goes to my brothers and sister, most.
I feel like I'm left off...
It makes me think if I've ever had anyone loving me and cuddling me off before???

What I remember, I hadn't even gotten over a
year of cuddling with my parents,
because right after a year I was born,
There comes my sister, and I don't think my dad loves me very much.
because his only princess there is, is my sister...

When we went to Adam Khoo's,
I was the only one out of four who went,
So I was trying to make feel like I was the only child,
to get cuddled of a little,
but I was wrong, I was totally wrong,

Even when their not over there, my parents
totally don't treat me how I want them to..
I feel so sad, when I watched over the videos about families,
it just gonna make my tears run down my cheeks,
but I don't want my parents to see me cry like that,
and I had to stop my self from crying...

I think its no use if I go for their camp but my parents learnt nothing,
its so much like 'bertepuk sebelah tangan'.
because even if she read their books, all she cares about is them not me.

****************************

OMG! I'm being emotional all of a sudden,
hahaha ~

oh My Gosh!

today, me and my parents went for
Adam Khoo's I'am Gifted and so are You! preview,
So after sitting for almost abou 3 hours there,
got my back bone in pain,
my arms needs a lot of strech.

and...
My Parents just got me into their training CAMP!!!
NOOOOOOO!!!!

and you know what, his a chinese,
I'm not racist, but.
but I'm scared, cuz the picture shows all who went for the last camp,
were CHINESE! all of em'.
at least please let them be some malays,
and I asked Aishah to go with me, but unfortunately..
She couldn't, her parents were out going for Haji,
and she's at her relative's house.

Oh My Gosh!!!

Teenager's emotion Problems

While taking my English test,
theres and article in the section B part,
where I need to summarize the article thinggy.

So, I read bout the article,
it says, nowdays teenagers has alot of emotional problems,
such as We cry for almost over every small issue there is,
cry for nothing, yes,
and we got really hot-tempered for no reason at all.

Also, the other part of why teenagers has emotional problems is because,
our parents kept screaming at us when somethings wrong with ur youngsters,
without asking or investigating at all,
and yell us to study,
thats alot of depression and stressing...

well, but so, thats my problems..
ngaha XD!
Sometimes I told myself to stop crying, but i just couldn't,
hah! things just couldn't get worst do they?

feeling Emotional

I just read my aunt's blog which goes all the way down,
but I accidently scrolled down the mouse,
and i read her blurps on 4.am in the morning..

i feel so emotional after reading it,
and yes, I cried a little.

I never thought that she misses her siblings that much..

and yes, I might as well cry too and feel all sad and gloomy,
If i was the last child in the family,
and if all my brothers and sisters went of away from home..
leaving me and my parents behind.

----------

I'm still feeling a bit of emotional though,
I'm suppose to be getting ready for tomorrow's exam.

ngaha, like wise..
to tell the truth,
I'am an emotional person

well maybe just some people,
would've notice that..

ahhhhh..
I'm starting to cool down a lil. ;)

Depressed

I'm feeling so depressed. Bad feelings in neither place, at school or at home. I feel sad hearing my dad's word that came across his lips a few months ago, the words kept swirling around in my head, even though I told my self not to think of it, because its only gonna make me sad. But as I say, the words are still swimming around in my head making me feel sad and 'depressed' more to like crying.

A few months ago, me and my parents were sitting down at our living room chatting with each other. As my sister whom just came back from school came in through the door. Suddenly a sentence of word came right out of my dad's lips. "ahhh.. Theres my favorite daughter, just came back from school." It hurts me so bad. after that moment, I tried so hard not to think about it which eventually makes me feel worst and burst out to tears.

I told my mom.. she says, I know why he said that. I don't know why he said that. Why? is it because i'm just sloppily talkative much at home, and just talk about something that isn't interesting at all? And that i'm just so stupider than my younger sis, and that I'm just fatter??? and that i'm just ugly? Is that why? when I look as if I'm just almost crying on the couch, My mom turns again, "I'm sure he didn't mean that."

He didn't mean that? he didn't mean that? he didn't mean that? Ohhh.. I'm sure he means it alot. Because he just said it when i was right in front of him. That he always ask me to do the house chores instead of my sis. That he always ... always ... always..... That he never explains or say that he didn't mean on what he says. He makes me just wanna cry for the little sentence he showed up with after my sis comes back from school.

Why? is it?

'I' the word for Me

i feel so uncomfortable with my self. sometimes.
i want to impress people more.
i want to be smart and brainy but not nerdy.
i want to be a good goody girl.
i want a life. rich, success, happy.
i always try to be somebody else i'm not. (i'm quite good at acting)
i try to be my self again.
i want no one talks bad behind my backs.
i want no enemy.
I JUST WANT MY LIFE TO BE PERFECT! can i?

pity her. pity me

pity her. :-(
i'm sad for you. i'm sad bout what is going on through your life.
i wish i could help, but the only thing i can do is to be a middle person in your situation and give you some ideas. that's the only thing i could do, but i wish i could help more. i don't know if its her who is the 'trouble maker'. i don't know what is she thinking. i don't know whats her point on doing it actually. because either way it wont make any of us feel better. but when i think again, sometimes what she does to you it resembles what i did to mine. sometimes. i feel outrages with my self. sort of, kind of. pity me..

i didn't thought so...

i didn't thought so..
i thought you never want to be friends with me again..
i thought you hated me..
i thought your a kind of person who follows whatever their friend says..

i never thought bout it at all..
i wonder if what she said was real..
but it did prove on what you said back there..

i was afraid.
i was scared.
i was nervous.
i was shy. yes, i lied.
i was feeling stupid.

but are you really serious?