haha. Sedih again.

I totally agree with what Afiqah says,
Parents should trust us Teenagers,
my parents especially my mom is totally no trusting me at all,
I wish I could set her mind, I'm not a baby.

But then again, she confuses me,
I don't think I'm loved like the others,
well yea, I'm the oldest what do you expect?
of course the youngest gets more than the eldest.

Sometimes, she seemed really care about me,
but sometimes all the attention goes to my brothers and sister, most.
I feel like I'm left off...
It makes me think if I've ever had anyone loving me and cuddling me off before???

What I remember, I hadn't even gotten over a
year of cuddling with my parents,
because right after a year I was born,
There comes my sister, and I don't think my dad loves me very much.
because his only princess there is, is my sister...

When we went to Adam Khoo's,
I was the only one out of four who went,
So I was trying to make feel like I was the only child,
to get cuddled of a little,
but I was wrong, I was totally wrong,

Even when their not over there, my parents
totally don't treat me how I want them to..
I feel so sad, when I watched over the videos about families,
it just gonna make my tears run down my cheeks,
but I don't want my parents to see me cry like that,
and I had to stop my self from crying...

I think its no use if I go for their camp but my parents learnt nothing,
its so much like 'bertepuk sebelah tangan'.
because even if she read their books, all she cares about is them not me.

****************************

OMG! I'm being emotional all of a sudden,
hahaha ~

feeling Emotional

I just read my aunt's blog which goes all the way down,
but I accidently scrolled down the mouse,
and i read her blurps on 4.am in the morning..

i feel so emotional after reading it,
and yes, I cried a little.

I never thought that she misses her siblings that much..

and yes, I might as well cry too and feel all sad and gloomy,
If i was the last child in the family,
and if all my brothers and sisters went of away from home..
leaving me and my parents behind.

----------

I'm still feeling a bit of emotional though,
I'm suppose to be getting ready for tomorrow's exam.

ngaha, like wise..
to tell the truth,
I'am an emotional person

well maybe just some people,
would've notice that..

ahhhhh..
I'm starting to cool down a lil. ;)

Depressed

I'm feeling so depressed. Bad feelings in neither place, at school or at home. I feel sad hearing my dad's word that came across his lips a few months ago, the words kept swirling around in my head, even though I told my self not to think of it, because its only gonna make me sad. But as I say, the words are still swimming around in my head making me feel sad and 'depressed' more to like crying.

A few months ago, me and my parents were sitting down at our living room chatting with each other. As my sister whom just came back from school came in through the door. Suddenly a sentence of word came right out of my dad's lips. "ahhh.. Theres my favorite daughter, just came back from school." It hurts me so bad. after that moment, I tried so hard not to think about it which eventually makes me feel worst and burst out to tears.

I told my mom.. she says, I know why he said that. I don't know why he said that. Why? is it because i'm just sloppily talkative much at home, and just talk about something that isn't interesting at all? And that i'm just so stupider than my younger sis, and that I'm just fatter??? and that i'm just ugly? Is that why? when I look as if I'm just almost crying on the couch, My mom turns again, "I'm sure he didn't mean that."

He didn't mean that? he didn't mean that? he didn't mean that? Ohhh.. I'm sure he means it alot. Because he just said it when i was right in front of him. That he always ask me to do the house chores instead of my sis. That he always ... always ... always..... That he never explains or say that he didn't mean on what he says. He makes me just wanna cry for the little sentence he showed up with after my sis comes back from school.

Why? is it?